Close Encounter of the Third Kind
by Michael2
Summary: What if the space alien gag was played on Biff? Based upon the third draft of the screenplay.
1. Chapter 1

"You turned her down?" asks Doctor Emmet Brown, standing inside his garage laboratory next to the DeLorean.

"I can't go to the dance with my mom!" exclaims Marty McFly. "It's sick!Anyway, isn't she supposed to go with Dad? How is taking my own mom to the dance gonna be of help."

"Marty, she's not your mom yet, and if you don't fix things, she never will be. At least she'll be at the dance. As long as you can make sure they show up and somehow interact."

"I..I just don't feel right about it."

"Take a look at your picture, Marty."

The teenager from the future takes out a small photograph of him, his brother Dave, and his sister Linda.

He can see that Dave is totally erased, and Linda's face is becoming blurry.

oooooooooo

Marty picks up the phone at about 6 PM, when he figures that his mother Lorraine would be having dinner. He turns the dialing wheel with his finger. He glances at Doc, sitting at the dining table.

He feels tense as the telephone rings.

"Hello," a female voice asks.

"Hi, this is Marty Mc..er, Klein," says the teen, using the alias he came up with when he first arrived here in 1955. "Is Lorraine there?"

"I'll get her," says the woman.

"Hi, Marty," says Lorraine.

"About that dance Saturday night, I...I'd really like to take you."

"That's so sweet. But I already have a date."

"You mean with George?" asks Marty, elated. Maybe things would work out after all.

"No, Biff."

It takes five seconds for those words to sink in. Suddenly a deep shock covers his very soul. "You,you can't go to the dance with Biff."

"He asked me, Marty," replies Lorraine. "He wasn't my first choice, but you did turn me down and I couldn't wait for you to change your mind."

"Can't you get out of it?"

"And show up with you instead? Marty, I'm not that kind of girl. You had your chance and it's now too late."

Marty hangs up the phone. "Shit, she's going to the dance with Biff!" he says to Doc. "Just what I need. To go back to the future and end up with Biff for my old man."

"You're going to have to sit down with this Biff character and reason with him," replies the scientist.

"He tried to run me over with his car! There's no way I can reason with him."

"If he takes your mother to that dance," says Doc, "it could throw the entire space-time continuum out of balance. You;re just going to have to explain that to him."

"Doc, it's gonna take a lot more than a science lecture to deal with Biff Tannen," says Marty.

oooooooooooooo

Biff Tannen suddenly wakes up to a loud screaming noise being pumped into his ears. He looks and sees this yellow creature standing before him. He yells out his deepest fears.

"Silence, Earthling," says the creature, his voice deep, as if it was what fear itself sounded like.

"Who...what are you?" asks the seventeen-year-old.

"My name is Darth Vader," says the creature. "I am an extraterrestrial from the Planet Vulcan."

"I...I must be dreamin'."

"This is no dream! You are having a close encounter of the third kind! You have reached the outer limits of the twilight zone!"

"I gotta get out of here!"

Biff throws off the covers, and is greeted by a blast of heat. He can see the source, some strange device.

"Halt, my heat ray will vaporize you if you do not obey me!"

"All right!" yells Biff, raising his hands. "Turn it off! Turn it off!"

"Silence!" yells the creature, holding his arm to his head. "I am receiving a transmission from the Battlestar Galactica!" Biff can hear some beeps. "You, Biff Tannen, have been selected by the Supreme Klingon to rendezvous with our mothership three Earth cycles from now - Saturday night in your language."

"Saturday night. But I've got a hot date Saturday night!" protests Biff.

"What do you mean by hot date?" the creature asks interrogatively.

"You know...I was gonna get laid."

Suddenly, the infernal loud assaults Biff's ears again, even drowning out his own screams. The noise sounds as if it were broadcast from the depths of Hell.

"Turn it off!" pleads Biff. "Please, turn it off!"

"Insolent Earthling," says the creature. "Do you wish me to melt your brain?"

"No, please! I'm sorry, I'll do anything, but please don't turn that noise on again!"

"You will cancel your so-called hot date. You will cancel it now!" The creature shoves the phone at Biff.

"But it's the middle of the night," protests the teenager. The noise assaults his ears again. "All right, stop! I'll do it!"

Biff picks up the phone and dials. "It's ringing," he says. "Hello, Mr. Baines. Uh, it's me, Biff Tannen. Could I talk to Lorraine, please?..."Uh, yes, sir, I know what time it is, but it's kind of urgent...Well, could you wake her up, sir?...Hello, Lorraine. This is Biff. I have to cancel our date...Yeah, I know what time it is, but it couldn't wait -- I had to tell you right now. I'm sorry."

Biff puts the phone down. Lorraine's voice could be heard even with the receiver on the desk.

"why couldn't this wait until tomorrow!" she screams over the phone. You're a jerk, Biff Tannen! And I never want to see you again!"

Biff could hear the phone being hung up, and then a dial tone.

"Well done, Earthling," says the creature. He hands Biff a piece of paper. "Write this down. On Saturday night at eight o'clock Earth time, you will await the arrival of the Millenium Falcon at the junction of Highway 50 and Statte Route 89."

"But that's eighty miles from here!" protests Biff.

"Be there or suffer the consequences!"

The creature disappears out of the bedroom window. Biff just stares out in amazement.

ooooooooooooo

Leaving Biff's house, Marty smiles under his hood. He chuckles at the thought of having pulled this sort of prank on anyone in 1955, let alone Biff Tannen. With the radiation suit and a few things brought from 1985.

I wonder how my dad would react, he thinks.

He leaps over a hedge in park across the street from Biuff's house.

And lands on top of a teenage couple necking on top of a blanket sitting on the grass.

The girl screams and attacks Marty. In the scuffle, the hood of the yellow radiation suit is pulled off.

"Stop it1" yells Marty. "I was just pulling a prank on someone. It's just a costume. It was just a joke, a practical joke!"

Marty runs off into the night.

"This neighborhood's going to Hell," says the red-haired boy with was necking with the girl. 


	2. Chapter 2

Marty sits in the driver's seat of the yellow Packard, still digesting what he had learned about his mother the past few minutes. He can see why she had turned out the way she did - or will.

He knows what he has to do. And yet, the girl sitting in the car with him is his mother-to-be. His heart fibrillates.

"Somebody's coming," says Lorraine.

Marty looks at the dashboard clock; it is 9:00.

"Not now, George," he mutters. This is it. He can not even imagine what mess this would cause, all because he could not make the moves on his own mom!

The driver's side door opens and Marty comes face to face with...

Biff!

"Well, well, well," says Biff. "If it isn't Dark Invader. Where's your space suit, space man?"

"I...I don't know what you're talking about," replies Marty.

"Like hell you don't. Is this him, Red?"

"Yeah, that's him," says a red-haired boy in a tuxedo. Marty recognizes him from the park, when he had landed on him and his girlfriend after convincing Biff to cancel the date.

Biff shoves Marty, and two of Biff's friends hold the teenager.

"Stop it!" yells Lorraine. "Leave him alone!"

"Well, look at what we've got here," says Biff, seeing Lorraine inside the Packard. I see you're expecting me."

She lunges at the door to escape, but Biff grabs her and climbs into the car. "Oh no, you're staying right here with me," he says.

"Get your hands off her, you son of a bitch!" yells Marty.

"I'll take care of you after I take care of her," replies Biff. "Take him around back," he says to his friends. "Come on, this ain't no peep show.

Marty is quickly dragged away. Soon he is shoved somewhere and it gets dark.

He is locked inside the trunk.


	3. Chapter 3

Even after everything that happened, today is looking to be a good day in Biff Tannen's life

It had already been on a trajectory towards a bad day a few nights ago when an "alien" calling himself "Dark Invader" tricked him into canceling his date with Lorraine Baines. And then he had to pay three hundred dollars to get a whole load of horse shit out of his Ford convertible.

It was then that an old man gave him Gray's Sports Almanac.

It is a book that has sports statistics for the next forty-five years. He had heard the old man about how UCLA would win a football game, and he heard it right from his car radio.

And the day got better. He learned that the "alien" was some punk transfer student named Calvin Klein, who had pulled that prank just to take Lorraine to the dance. Indeed, he caught "Dark Invader" inside a yellow Packard with Lorraine.

Making up for that lost date did not go exactly as he intended, as a series of improbable events led him to be knocked out in one punch by George McFly, of all people. Then Calvin came when he was unconscious and stole the almanac from him. He later recovered the almanac and gave Calvin Klein his just desserts.

He hears more sports results from the Ford's radio and then glances at the Almanac's entry for November 12, 1955.

The old man was right.

It is then that he sees someone reaching into the passenger seat and grabbing the almanac.

Instinctively, the teenager grabs the almanac. They struggle, and the almanac flies out in front of the windshield. Angrily, Biff sideswipes some bushes to get his assailant off the car.

He looks ahead. He is rapidly approaching the tunnel, the tunnel through which he had driven for over a year to get between his home and school. He steers the Ford to the concrete surface of the tunnel, and the right side of the car scrapes against the concrete, sparks flying off like Roman candles.

He looks to his right, and his assailant is not there anymore.

"That'll take care of him," he says.

Gray's Sports Almanac is now in front of the windshield. He releases the gas pedal and reaches over the windshield to retrieve the book. That book could guarantee his future. He has to have it.

He glances at the rearview mirror, and he sees the assailant, who is, not surprisingly, Calvin Klein. He elbows the kid, hoping to knock him off of the board on wheels that he is surely using to ride along with the car.

He sees a truck going in the opposite direction, and swerves to avoid it. For a fraction of a second he thinks the almanac flew off; Biff is relieved to find the almanac still on the windshield.

_Did that get rid of him?_

Biff glances to his left and sees Calvin. He swerves to the left, hoping to force him between the car and the tunnel wall.

Then he sees Calvin Klein jump over the Ford and grab the almanac.

He immediately hits the brakes and swerves the car around. The Ford is now outside the tunnel. He looks straight at Calvin, dressed in a long coat and hat.

He revs the engine of the Ford. He can see the thief going towards the other end of the tunnel.

_You won't be fast enough._

Biff shifts to first gear and releases the clutch pedal, steering straight towards that kid who had caused so much trouble for him ever since showing up at Hill Valley High. He laughs as he upshifts and gets closer to Calvin, his Ford now a missile aiming straight at his tormentor.

_I got you now, punk._

Suddenly, Calvin flies straight up just as he reaches the end of the tunnel. Biff looks up and sees some strange flying machine carrying Calvin Klein away.

"He really _is_ an alien!" exclaims Biff.

And then he crashes into the truck, and is greeted with a load of manure.

He never sees "Calvin Klein", "Dark Invader", or whoever that was in school again.

And he never sees the almanac for at least forty-five years.


End file.
